Quick Review: "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian"

This was the night I decided to try to go back to a drive-in theater that I knew of in my youth, the first time I've been back as an adult. I was greatly disappointed. I had to worry about my Buick (which loves to flash lights at a moment's notice). I had to deal with less-than-adequate gravel area to drive in. They didn't take cards, just cash or checks. You did better if you sat outside my car, because the windshield was really cloudy.

Worst of all, families now bring their children, who pop in and out of cars and are noisy to no end. You could also hear the mothers talking back to the kids, and some that seem to comment on the movie. It was family night out, and I guess if you have families you are used to it. I am used to enclosed theaters and respectful audiences, and I think I will stay there. I also like not dealing with no more light than a cell phone or a flash light. When the lights on the Buick came on again and looked like a lighthouse, I was humiliated enough that I somehow wedged myself out of the parking area (not easy) and fled without finishing the movie.

Thankfully, the movie was as bad as the drive-in experience. In fact, it might have been a perfect drive-in experience, because if you saw the first one, you didn't need much excuse in knowing the plot. The makers of "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian" (the sequal to the popular original) must have known this, because they seemed to rush up the plot at lighting speed so the chase can begin. Apparently the New York museum we loved in the first movie has decided to go high tech and ship most of its materials to the Smithsonian in Washington (like they would take some of the dorky displays). Just as illogical, Ben Stiller's character, who barely got a guard job in the last movie, now is a successful inventor/TV pitch man but drops everything to rescue the artifacts when he finds out there is a REALLY evil curse that puts the come-to-life artifacts in danger.

This garbled plot, apparently written on a napkin at an L.A. eatery for all I know, is rushed through fast, except for stopping for stupid, silly conversations that are supposed to be funny but are not. There is an occasional poke at history or iconic figures that is has a giggle, but that's about it. It is a complete waste of very good talent, including Stiller, Hank Azaria (who also does some voice work, such as the "Thinker," whose "guns" are featured in the commercial), Owen Wilson, Bill Hadder and even the voices of the Jonas Brothers (as the Cherubs). I'll probably see the end of the movie...when it comes on DVD. And I'm really bored. (There must be a lot of bored people out there; so far the film has made $104 million and ranked a B-plus with Yahoo reviewers.)

By the way, before the movie, on the radio where the soundtrack is played, there was 1950s rock, and then on the way home I listened to, of all things, the live broadcast of the Grand Ole Opry, still clear as a bell on WSM 650 AM from Nashville. Those broadcasts were more entertaining than what I dealt with on the screen. That should tell you something right there.